Sloppy Joe v 2.0

Sloppy Joe: 2008 Edition

I'm not sure what's going on, whether I'm becoming less cheap, busier, or hungrier, but somehow my blog appears to be skewing towards the culinary, while drifting precipitously away from my bread-and-butter cheap bastardry. Never to fear, though - the above meal was free, courtesy of Sloppy Joe Ritacco himself. I had a freebie coming my way in exchange for having driven the GM home a few nights prior (he, possibly a cheaper bastard than I, has discarded his vehicle in the store's parking lot after the axle more or less seceded from the body of the car), and endeavored to use it wisely. Fortuitously, Joe just happened to be managing the next time I worked, and I deftly reminded him that almost nine months or more had elapsed since our last Sloppy Joe experience. Taken aback, he agreed that it was time to renew acquaintances with this ninth wonder of the world, and the above was our reward. For the sake of contrast, I have also posted below the original Sloppy Joe. The major differences between the two: sourdough toast replaced Texas Toast (a product of me trying to eat a little less unhealthy), onion rings taking the place of fries (so much for less unhealthy...), and salsa and mustard added to the cornucopia of dressings involved in one way or another (I'm fairly confident this is the ONLY Sloppy Joe to ever incorporate 1000 Island salad dressing).

The Original Sloppy Joe

The verdict: it's hard to top an original, but let that never stop people from trying. Maybe I'm biased because I had a salad and a shake before digging into the new edition, while the original was consumed on an empty stomach. A side-by-side comparison may yield substantially different results.

More random adventures of some sort soon...

A CB Adventure

It's been awhile since I've escaped Bloomington and gone on one of my trademark CB binges; thankfully, I was able to remedy that quite well this past weekend. As always, a trip up to visit Chewy in Wisconsin provided ample opportunity to cheap it out.

I started out from the Twin Cities with a full tank of gas; however, knowing that a car's mileage suffers during the winter, I knew I'd be in for a close call as far as getting back without having to make a Chicago pit stop, especially since I'd agreed to dump off Madame CB in New Lenox, which added about 50 miles to the trip.

Seeing as I didn't want to spend any more on gas than was absolutely necessary, I extracted from Stevo a concession that he would drive us from Chicago onwards, no questions asked. Upon arrival, we sought out one of the cheaper dining options around - a Mexican greasy spoon diner. Excellent enchiladas, but my stomach was forever wrecked for the remainder of the night; to many, this might seem unfortunate, but for me it saved me probably $10-$20 on beer that I was unable to drink. By the time I recovered the next morning, it was time for the next installment of the odyssey - a garbage plate (look out below).


Frank's Diner in Kenosha has been serving it up since 1926 (we had plenty of time to read the menu, since they have more hungry fans than they can ever handle, so everyone knows to wait patiently and read the menu twenty times over), and is famous for their garbage plates, which involve eggs, hash browns, onions, and peppers mixed with your choice of other assorted crap. When I found out the special of the day was the gyros garbage plate, I'm not sure I hesitated one second to consider the possibilities - sometimes you just have to trust your gut. Though the final tab of $10 or so is decidedly un-CB, it's long been my MO to splurge on the unique and satisfying; had I dumped a similar amount at McDonald's, there's no way I'd have considered it worthwhile unless Mak and I were throwing down on our long-awaited McGriddle eat-off.

So anyways, I left the blowing of the money to Stewie (Stevo and Chewy) - Stevo with his never-ending procession of mixed drinks, and Chewy his insatiable predilection for men's room novelty items (he got me an instant marriage license - below - but kept the rubber "tickler" ring), electronic bowling games, and darts.


All in all, I spent a decent amount, but only in the ways I wanted to spend it. Perhaps this sheds a little bit of light on what being a true CB is all about - it's not all coupons and clearance bins after all.

Oh, yeah! One more thing...the weekend's CB Prime Time Performer (PTP) award goes to Matt O'Malia for swiping these delicious meatballs (see below) - a full plate's worth - from a private gathering at a bar, covering them up with a second plate to keep them warm, and delivering them to us at the bar next door, complete with toothpicks! Thanks, Matt!

Stick a Fork in It

As promised, here is the photo montage of Madame CB's vain attempt to liberate a delicious bottle of wine from its confinement; success is still just around the corner, as the cork stubbornly remains. Enjoy!

Step 0: Identifying the problem (note the broken generic bottle opener lodged in the cork).




Step 1: Attempt to soften cork by pounding vertically with the butt of the fork.




Step 2: Attack straight on, full-bore, with repeated direct thrusts (very dangerous).




Step 3: Attempt to stab and/or bludgeon the cork into forced submission.




Step 4: Attempt to caress the cork free with multiple diagonal blows.




Step 5: Say a prayer under heated breath and proceed to exorcise the cork.

Step 6: Achieve self-awareness; immediately threaten curious bystanders.