IT'S ON! (SEE YOU SOON, MONTE)

Biscuitville, here we come! The Great Biscuit Odyssey of 2006 is officially in the works. A seven day, six night adventure of bad baseball and the deepest fried food at every turn promises to shave five years off the lives of Señor CB and Big Mak and permanently affix giddy smiles to our faces.

Ever since I found out that there existed a team with the name "Biscuits", I have been obsessed with attending one of their games (and picking up truckloads of their souvenirs, naturally). When I saw their logo, shown above in all of it's glory (FYI for the unenlightened, that's a tongue of butter!), I became instantly aware that nothing must stand in the way of my sacred pilgrimmage.

This is not the only reason this trip is so tasty, though. Below, I detail the itinerary - with all-important random details:

May 14: Houston, TX - Astros vs. the hapless Rockies (wherever I am, I can never seem to escape the Rockies on Mother's Day)
May 15: Mobile, AL - Padres' AA affiliate at "The Hank"; find a deep-fried catfish dinner to clog our arteries
May 16: Birmingham, AL - White Sox AA Barons in action; 25-cent hotdog night (we miss $5 Little Caesar's Pizza night by one day)
May 17: Montgomery, AL - Cubs' AA team vs. Biscuits AND biscuits drenched in butter and syrup to get my Biscuit swag (souvenirs) sticky; does life get any better than this?
May 18: Tampa, FL - White Sox vs. D-Rays; cheap $8 tickets (and free parking, too!)
May 19: Tampa, FL - Marlins vs. D-Rays; someone has to win the battle for Florida (we think) - $8 tickets suddenly seem overpriced
May 20: Tampa, FL - late flight out, too much time on our hands to run amok in Tampa; any suggestions?

I readily acknowledge that this represents a radical departure from my usual cheap bastardry. But remember, when it comes to religion (baseball certainly qualifies as such), people often foresake their sanity and better judgment - just look at Christmas decorations. The cost breakdown for this exodus is as follows (all prices are per person):

Plane tickets $180 (god bless mommy, daddy, and Southwest Internet Specials)
Rental car 300 (includes taxes, fees, and "don't let Alamo rape us" insurance)
Gas 100 (assuming $3/gallon @ 25 mpg - if we don't get helplessly lost)
Hotel 180 (cheap dives all the way)
Food 150 (our taste buds give a hearty nod of approval)
Tickets 80 (upper deck, here we come!)
Souvenirs 100 (Biscuit hat, Biscuit shirt, Biscuit undies, Biscuit tie, Biscuit...)

Grand Total $1,090

Decidedly un-CB, I acknowledge. However, come fall I will be shaking many a steak, and had better blow my dough while I have the chance. I should mention at this time that anyone looking to get in on the action with us is more than welcome to do so - right now, our back seat in the rental car is empty - and should contact me at rhfiala@ilstu.edu if interested. Like misery, Biscuits and D-Rays love company, and we love the idea of splitting the rental car and hotel three ways.

More Biscuit-infused updates to come shortly!