CB's Fashion Trends: 2007

The Superfluous "Outtie" Nipple Snap

A previously untapped resource (Street Name: "Pooke") has brought this latest in the absurd $25-a-ticket runway show world of high fashion to The CB's attention. Of course, like a true budding CB, Monsieur Pooke came about this acquisition by rifling through the clearance racks at his favorite thrift shop - so a first-go-'round trend this most certainly is not. Nevertheless, fashion has proved nothing if not nauseatingly cyclical. So you heard it here first - get your superfluous "Outtie" nipples taped, sewn, or glued to your pants ASAP (the more "outties" the better - chicks dig it!) - or try to find your own legit original item the Pooke way.

Now that the "outtie" is all the rage, it matters little what it's original intended function may have been - after all, style and function are generally mutually exclusive (ask Paris Hilton to lift anything heavier than Mr. Bigglesworth in her latest duds). All the same, the world hungers to unearth the true utility of the "outtie".

The revolution has already begun - before you get the chance to forward this picture to your friends, "outties" will be popping out of the seams of previously unsuspecting flies everywhere you turn.

Now all the "outtie" needs is a mate - perhaps an "innie" snap for the ladies is in order.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!